A lot of people want to show up to the party but they don’t want to help. No contribution whatsoever. The crazy thing is that these same people have the nerve to complain. It may not be an actual party, it could be a social event or a professional event. They may complain about aspects of the event and what they would do different. Well next time, help organize it. Feel free to actually contribute something instead of being a negative Nancy.
Often times, people sit back and WAIT for everyone else to do something. That’s the behavior of a follower. Most people are followers. They’re not leaders. They don’t participate in anything. They don’t make any effort to do anything different. They’re comfortable warming the bench. In sports, there are people that are on the bench but these people are actual players. They may sit out a game depending on the line up but overall, they’re in the game. I was in a women’s group at one time. There was a lot of back and forth regarding events. I took it upon myself to reach out to the group leader who was the only person that showed interest at the time in meeting up for brunch. She then made our outing a group meetup. This brunch that I initiated ended up being the only one that the group did. The group was closed after that. I’m like…well geesh. For one, it makes it easy to manipulate you when you’re a follower. You want to be liked and you want to fit in so badly that you’re willing to forego your feelings and what you want to appease other people. If you just take the backseat approach, you’re never in the driving seat of your life. The behavior from that mindset is showing up in other areas of your life. You wonder why your life is the way that it is? Take a look at your actions. You’re comfortable. How you do anything is how you do everything.
Some of you ladies are benchwarmers. You’re not in the game. You sit on the sidelines of life. You wait for people to give you permission. You want to be spoon fed. You wait for people to come up with the idea for an outing. You sit back and don’t suggest anything. You don’t offer anything. That’s sort of a taker’s mindset. But it’s definitely a passive mindset. Passive Patty. A passive Patty unfortunately is likely to just accept whatever she’s given even if it’s breadcrumbs. This is why at this juncture in my life I am all about QUALITY over quantity. Some of you ladies need some new girlfriends. You may want to meet new people but you refuse to leave your house. I’m talking about even pre-Covid. You aren’t putting in any actual effort into meeting people. How does that align with what you seek? It doesn’t. You may want to go out and do things but you never come up with an idea. Or you just go back to what’s familiar and decide to warm your couch. This could be due to underlying fear, insecurity and/or low self-esteem. But ladies, you have to come out of your comfort zone. You can’t be afraid to put yourself out there. If you never do, you will never get what you want. There is an energy in movement. There is an energy in taking action. There is an energy in showing up for yourself. Come on Queens…be bold!
Brene Brown did a talk which was on Netflix. I remember towards the end that she mentioned about being in the arena. She mentioned that the ones out here in the arena are the ones getting their asses kicked. I agree. It takes guts and courage to be your full authentic self in a world that wants you to conform, shrink or minimize yourself. It takes courage to not want to be typical. It takes courage to not want to settle for the same ole same ole you’ve been getting year after year. The people on the sidelines warming the bench per se often have the most judgment, criticism or haterade which is ironic because they’re comfortable warming the bench. We all have to be honest with ourselves if we want to grow or if we want to make any changes in our lives. You cannot change what you continue to deny or are delusional about. The truth will set you free. When you deny your truth, your mind can’t come up with solutions for you. If you lie to yourself, then you are likely lying to other people. We all have to face ourselves at the end of the day. You have to look at your own reflection in the mirror.
How do you normally show up to a party? Are you the negative Nancy or Debbie downer? You may say you’re not but in reality, you are or you have been based on your actions. It’s just about being honest with yourself and coming to the awareness of that then deciding if having the behavior from that mindset is working for you. What is something you want to do but have been afraid to do? What is something on your bucket list that you can work towards accomplishing this year? Can you be honest with yourself in that your words are not congruent to your actions albeit still complaining? Put yourself back in the driver’s seat. Get off the bench and get in the game ladies! Show up for yourself. It doesn’t always require something big for you to get the ball rolling on coming out of your comfort zone. Little actions add up to big actions over time. We are all on this journey together. It’s never about perfection, just progression. Life is short. Let’s make the best of it. Get in the arena! You should not be shocked at things not manifesting for you if you’re not doing anything to bring it to fruition. Comfort kills. Negative Nancy, Debbie Downer, Passive Patty, Positive Paula, Marvelous Mandy, Radiant Ruby, Dynamic Diamond, etc. Decide who you’re going to be. And show up as that Queen…the Queen that you are that can have, do or be anything she wants! You are worth it! You deserve it!
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