Ladies, I think a number of you are finally being honest with yourself. Many of you are realizing that something in your life needs to change. What you’ve been doing hasn’t been working. Many of you are waking up to the reality that some people in your lives need to be repositioned or completely removed from your life. You need new people in your circle, new energies. Out with the old, in with the new! You are honoring yourself and making changes in your life. Kudos to you Queens! It’s not easy. Some of you may feel guilty for doing what’s in your best interest. Some of you may feel bad for outgrowing people. You’re going to a higher level. Some of you may feel alone as you are elevating yourself. You are not alone. You are worth it. I’m on the journey with you. What I speak about comes from having experienced it already, currently going through it or knowing people that have been there. It’s a process. Transformation is a process. Personal growth and personal development is ongoing. Nothing changes overnight. We all have cycles to break in our lives. I did a podcast in February titled “What Are You Looking For?”; in the words of Dr. Wayne Dyer, what you see depends mainly on what you look for.
Here are some examples. If you say you want new friends, cool. What are you doing in alignment with acquiring new friends? If you say you want to start a business, great. What are you doing in alignment with starting a business? If you say you want a high-quality man, what are you doing in alignment with being ready for someone like him? If you say you want to lose weight, what are you doing in alignment with losing weight? Let me break that down a little more. What you see depends mainly on what you look for. What you focus on expands. Actions speak louder than words.
- New Friends – if you are truly looking to make new friends, that may look like going to different networking events, meetups, joining a club or organization, using Bumble BFF or some other social app. If you never show up to any events, don’t respond to people, only go out if someone else plans it, your couch is your friend every weekend…it’s fair to say that you’re not interested in making new friends. Based on your actions, that’s not what you’re looking for. Get real and be honest with yourself.
- Start a Business – if you are truly looking to start a business, that may look like going to networking events, reading books about business, joining a club or organization in the same industry, finding a mentor or some type of advisor. If you never read any books, don’t invest in yourself, don’t go to any events where likeminded people are… it’s fair to say that you’re not interested in starting a business. Based on your actions, that’s not what you’re looking for. Get real and be honest with yourself.
- High Quality Man – if you are truly looking for a high-quality man, that may look like doing the inner work to heal yourself, going to therapy (we all have issues) or talking to a life/relationship coach, writing down what you want in a relationship or marriage, creating a vision board for that ideal relationship, doing meditations on what that ideal relationship feels like, putting yourself in coed environments, joining dating apps, living your best life regardless. If you never go out, act like you’re perfect and have no areas in your life where you could improve so you refuse to do any self-reflection, you don’t know what you want, you really have no clarity on your desired partner, you’re never in environments where men are… it’s fair to say that you’re not interested in attracting a high-quality man. Based on your actions, that’s not what you’re looking for. Get real and be honest with yourself. In addition, if you say you want a high-quality man but you continually only choose low vibrational guys who are NOT assets to you, then it’s fair to say that’s not what you’re looking for.
- Losing Weight – if you are truly looking to lose weight, that may look like eating healthy, cutting back on sugary foods, tracking your daily food intake, working out in the gym or doing some type of physical activity (yoga, dance, sports), getting a trainer. If you eat a lot of sugary foods, eat out a lot, never cut back on the unhealthy foods, you lap your couch or never engage in any physical activity, then it’s fair to say that you’re not interested in losing weight. Based on your actions, that’s not what you’re looking for. Get real and be honest with yourself.
None of us are perfect. You all should know by now that it’s not about perfection, it’s just about progression for me. Perfection doesn’t exist. I do believe we can always be growing and learning. We can talk all day about what we supposedly want. We can talk all day about having certain goals or dreams. At the end of the day, we need to look at tangible evidence. A lot of people say the things that sound good but in reality, their actions do not align to what they’ve said.
There are some of you that are in a season where you want more, you desire more. But you claim to be waiting on God relative to your purpose. While I respect people’s religious beliefs, I don’t believe that God or the Universe has not given you any clue in all these years as to what your purpose is or something that you could be doing that’s in alignment with your gifts and talents. We can agree to disagree. My intention is never to offend. However, to me, you may be operating from fear or you’re worried about what people will say and that’s the real reason you haven’t taken any leaps of faith. The other reason is simply that you’re truly not interested in finding your purpose and that’s okay. What you see depends mainly on what you look for. You’re not looking for it. And therefore, I don’t believe it’s fair to blame your creator. We live in an abundant universe. There are signs all around us, inner nudges, an inner voice, your intuition…there’s no way that I believe God has left you with no ideas whatsoever. You may need to change the lens in which you’re looking through; your perception or belief in how God speaks to you or can speak to you. Energy flows where our attention goes. What you focus on expands. Just because we’re women doesn’t mean everything has to be soft or warm feeling. Sugarcoating doesn’t inspire change. Sometimes we all need the hardcore truth. We need to face ourselves in the mirror and have a hard talk with ourselves. We have to face reality. Not the idea of what we want or wish it was but the reality of what it is or what it has been. R-E-A-L-I-T-Y ladies. Drop the fantasy. I love you all way too much to sugarcoat.
I want the best for us. We deserve the best. We are one of the greatest creations on earth; we’re Queens! We are worthy. We are deserving. You deserve all of your heart’s desires. Whatever type of lifestyle you’ve envisioned, you deserve. The desired relationship or marriage you’ve envisioned, you deserve. You have to believe it’s possible for you. You also have to do the work ladies. You have to show up for yourself. Everything doesn’t just fall in your lap. You have to take action in the direction of your wants, goals and dreams. Pay attention to where you’re focusing your energy. We all get to choose what we give our attention to. Make a conscious decision to protect your energy. Put yourself FIRST. What do your actions show that you’re looking for or interested in? Just remember…what you see depends mainly on what you look for. Stay fabulous my loves and continue to Queen on…
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