Ladies, raise the standards for yourself. You cannot expect a man to come in and treat you better than you treat yourself. Many of you do not commit to yourself yet you expect him to. You do not follow through on anything to yourself but expect him to. You have high expectations for him when you are operating on a low vibration. Something I think we should consider for a man is what he’s producing. In other words, what is the tangible evidence of what he claims is his goal, dream or vision. His words and actions should match and they should be consistent. So relative to the path he’s on, is there tangible evidence or is it all smoke and mirrors? Now I want you all to consider the same thing for yourselves. What are you producing ladies? This has nothing to do with what you bring to the table in a relationship. This is about YOU. Take the focus off of a man for once. What goals or dreams do you have? Based on your answer, is there tangible evidence of that? How are you investing in yourself? I want you all to pour into yourselves first. I want all of your focus on bettering yourself. I want all of your focus on filling your cup up to fullness FIRST so you can give from your overflow.
Let me give you an example. If I say to someone that I’m a writer, that person may ask me where they can find my writing and rightfully so. I can provide them a website where some of my articles have been published. I can also provide them the link to my blog. Evidence. There is tangible evidence of my writing. If someone said to me that they were an author, I might ask where I can find their book(s). But if their reply is that they haven’t published anything, my next question might be if they have a manuscript. If they say no, I might ask where their writing is – are they writing on sticky notes or something? You see where I’m going with this. Tangible evidence. I want you ladies to start getting real with yourselves. Take the pressure off of yourself to have a bae or to be married by now. I expect my life partner to show up but I’m not desperate for it. Use this time to live your best life. Use this time to work on yourself. Instead of fantasizing about a prince charming all day, how about you actually finish a project you started a while back. Instead of drowning yourself in sorrows about not being married yet, how about you learn a new skill. There is more to life than male attention. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be in a relationship or to be married. However, I do not believe it should consume you. You’re idolizing relationships or marriage in an unhealthy way. Marriage is not the cure for singleness. And everybody in a relationship is not happy. Everyone in a relationship is not with the right person. A number of both men and women have settled for convenience or just to quell their loneliness. I always say that you do not know what’s going on behind closed doors. It’s true. People put on a façade. You may think they’re perfect when they hate each other behind closed doors. So just focus on you and finding peace within yourself. Find your bliss. Focus on the things that make you feel good. What are the activities that you like to do? Get back to that. When is the last time you did something nice for yourself? When is the last time you bought something for yourself? You deserve to take care of your needs. In the words of Mike Dooley, every once in a while, splurge. I suggest you buy his DVD titled Thoughts Become Things. In the movie, he talks about how if you always buy the cheapest of the cheapest, you are conditioning your mind to stay at a level where you can only afford the cheapest of the cheapest. Hence, why you should splurge every once in a while. I agree.
Raise the standards for yourself. You deserve that. You deserve to elevate yourself. You deserve to dine at a 5-star restaurant if you desire to. No one said you have to eat at McDonalds all the time. (I like their fries). YOU get to choose. You get to create your life. No one said you have to stay at Motel 6 when you prefer to stay at the Hilton. Reprogram your mind. Who are you around that has kept you accepting less than you desire or deserve? Maybe it’s time you get some new friends, a new circle. You are who you hang around. If you hang around 5 broke people, you’ll become number 6. Transformation is a process. Growth is uncomfortable. Sometimes you have to leave people behind. Everyone is not ready to go to a higher level but that shouldn’t stop you. If you desire change, something has to change. You have to make a decision. I like what Tony Robbins talks about. He mentions that we all get our shoulds; nothing will change until those shoulds become a MUST. It’s up to us. So let’s focus on personal growth and development instead of racking our brains on having a ‘him’. Let’s put our energy in magnifying our gifts and talents. And should we meet the man of our dreams unexpectedly along the way, great. However, until then, do the da*n thing ladies! You are of value. Your value is still high. We’re still regal. We’re still royal. We’re still Queens. Our worth is not defined by our relationship status. Raise the bar on yourself and watch everyone and everything rise to that level because you demanded it. You deserve it and you are worthy of it. Periodt!
YouTube Video: Tony Robbins – Raise Your Standards – YouTube
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