A number of women have settled. And you are sitting there thinking something is wrong with you. Being all hard on yourself for no reason. You are jealous or envious of the woman who behind closed doors is miserable. She’s unhappy. She feels alone in her relationship or marriage. I’ve mentioned before that you never know what’s going on behind closed doors. A number of people are frontin’. People are putting on a show to appear a certain way; they’re pretending so they’re perceived a certain way but the truth will always manifest itself. In other words, how two people really feel about each other will surface. Whether or not you chose someone just so you wouldn’t be alone will surface. Whether or not you got married just to experience a wedding day will surface. You can’t escape your truth. People may avoid the truth or deny it but it’s evident. Just like many of us at some point saw the red flags a mile away and still for whatever reason made a decision to ignore them. The red flags were present but you chose to ignore them. Some people may be unhappily married or unhappy in their relationship but they’re choosing to ignore it or deny it. Each individual is often not oblivious at all. Sometimes both parties know but no one wants to be the one to bring it up. One person is hoping the other person will say something so they won’t be the one people point a finger at. Some people like being victims so they get sympathy. While it isn’t easy, I believe it’s courageous to stand up for yourself; to have the hard conversations and to love yourself enough to walk away if something no longer serves you. I watched a clip on FB from Tanisha and Terry Flowers from Redefined Tv. They mentioned the same thing about not really knowing that a woman may have settled. You feel like you’re behind when really you’re doing better cause you didn’t just accept any ol’ body. For some of you, the woman whose wedding you just attended may be fake. Behind closed doors, it’s a totally flop. In front of family and friends, they put on a show. So don’t compare yourself to your married friends. No need to feel left behind. What God has for you is for you and no one can take that away. Why settle when you’re worthy and deserving of more?
I think a lot of women believe getting married is simply the cure to being single. They think being in a relationship is going to magically absolve everything. Like it’s going to relieve them of whatever they’ve been deflecting from. Getting into a relationship or a situationship to alleviate feeling lonely will only distract you from your purpose. It will allow you to take the focus off yourself and what you’re supposed to be doing by filling the void with a person again. People often repeat this same cycle of going from person to person never giving themselves time to be by themselves to figure out who they are and what they want; what they were put on earth for. They keep going from relationship to relationship looking for validation and love that they should be giving themselves. The guy or girl is only going to amplify your insecurities. He/she will meet you at your current level of belief. You’re looking for them to make you feel better about yourself when they’re just going to be a mirror. This is why your self-love and self-care is so important.
Nobody is perfect. It’s never about perfection for me. I believe in progression. I believe two people can meet each other while they’re both on their purpose path however they both need to be assets to each other. The woman is not supposed to coddle the guy nor ‘birth’ him. That’s not her job. She’s not his mother. And that’s not his job for the woman either. Both people can certainly be encouragement to each other along the path. However, I don’t believe you should give up your goals and dreams for anyone. That usually leads to resentment and bitterness down the line. The right person should be an addition, not a subtraction. They would want the best for you. They would want to see you accomplish the things that matter to you.
Don’t fret. I’m with you on this journey too. I know it seems like you may have been waiting forever but trust in the process. Trust in divine timing. You may think you’re ready for your spouse/life partner but you are not. You may need to evolve more. You may need to invest in yourself a little more. Stop looking for a relationship to fix what you need to work on yourself. Take this time being single to live your best life and do everything you may have put on the backburner. Put yourself FIRST. You are worth it. You are worthy of it. You deserve it. You deserve the best my Queen. Act like it.
Redefined Tv FB Link: https://fb.watch/aPmLCD8d6J/
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